Just (Free) Adventures
Shadow of the Lost Citadel

Developer/Publisher: Salsa Shark Studios
Download Size: 3.9 MB (Free Version)

By Adam Rodman

Hi. I'm Adam and I'll be doing your Just (Free) Adventure for the night. Where's Audrey, you ask? Well, I'm not going to tell you, because I'm the writer and I'm in charge. I control the vertical. I control the horizontal. I can make your monitor pincushion or become fat and bubbly. To prove my control over your computer, will you please adjust your monitor settings. I'll wait.

Okay, got it? Good. So you see, I am in control now! And on to the point. This really isn't a Just (Free) Adventure. In fact, it's more of a Just (Sorta) (Free) Action/Adventure/RPG. However, I doubt that Randy'll make a new column just for games in the Just (Sorta) (Free) Action/Adventure/RPG column, so please bear with me. And enjoy!

Ah, remember the good ol' days of the Atari? We'd all gather around the television in the living room, turn on the record player, and guide frogs across roads (this was after the males had killed and prepared the mammoth for dinner and after the communal fire had been built). Nope? Me neither. I've never been a really big Atari person. I mean, I've played Frogger, Asteroids, Donkey Kong, and the rest, but I've never really "done" it. You know, I smoked it but didn't inhale? That said and done (said at least), I'm probably not the most qualified individual to do a review of Shadow of the Lost Citadel, a remake of the classic Vectrex game Dark Tower. But we can all still appreciate the Sistine Chapel, even though Michelangelo painted it years ago, right?

Well ... maybe. Shadow of the Lost Citadel could be called a primitive version of Tomb Raider. Sans the short shorts and tight shirts, of course. The main view of the game is played in third person, looking from behind your character (a knight in shining armor). From time to time, you'll encounter chests. On opening, you may find moolah, an extra character, or, more often than not, a brigand to fight. Here's where my problem comes in. After I play an action game, my character sort of looks like ... well, let's just say that you can see the wall through his or her chest and/or head and/or reproductive organs. Fighting in Shadow of the Lost Citadel is simply walking back and forth and hitting spacebar to throw a fireball (which doesn't make sense--the knight is carrying a sword, why does he need a fireball?!). Simple enough in theory, but not so in real life. The brigands do a Scooby Doo-ish effect, coming out a door on one side of a hall, receding, and then coming out another on the other side of the hall (that's one of the great mysteries of Scooby Doo, that and the reason that there're always sandwiches lying around in haunted houses. I mean, come on guys, they're probably poisoned, or at least spoiled!).

The graphics in Shadow of the Lost Citadel are considerably better than those in the original Dark Tower [insert sarcastic comment about Atari graphics here]. I'd say that they're on par with, perhaps Duke Nukem 3D (but calm down guys, there're no strippers). The sound effects are practically nonexistent, but they're appropriate and well-done (how I love to hear my character die for the fifth time in a row). The story's also almost not there, something about evil people, a locked citadel, and ... ah, it's just an excuse to kill things.

Story: D
Graphics: B-
Music/Sound Effects: B-

Shadow of the Lost Citadel isn't a bad game: it merely appeals to a limited audience. If you love Atari games and routinely smash other console systems, Shadow of the Lost Citadel will probably make you glad you bought a PC. If an Atari doesn't make you start salivating, I wouldn't suggest playing this.

Final Grade: C-