The Ugly Americans

By Randy Sluganski

As you read this, I am embarrassed to divulge that one of the most beautiful games I have ever played--The Longest Journey--is not scheduled for distribution in North America. In what can be construed as a major public relations blunder, The Longest Journey--recently voted game of the year in Norway and already a best-seller in Holland, Sweden, and Norway--has been passed over by almost every major American publisher and distributor. Why would a product that has already achieved international success be scorned by the greedy American software companies? Quite simply--because it is an adventure game and adventure games do not sell to the bloodthirsty, action-starved American gaming public. Or so they would have us believe.

Adventure games do sell in America, but the truth is that they do not sell enough copies to make enough of a profit to justify their existence on the food chain. The major American companies, the majority of which are run by white, middle-aged men, would have us believe that American gamers only crave action-laden gorefests stocked with heroines with heaving bosoms meant to induce wet dreams in their middle-age fantasies. Or wave upon wave of sports games that are pumped out year after year with nothing more than updated player rosters. Or dozens of driving or fighting games that all look the same but have different titles. Or wrestling games that have the grapplers giving their opponents the middle finger, grabbing their crotch and yelling "suck it." God forbid a game that actually causes the player to think like an adult and face real-life problems. Instead we are asked to accept true-to-life 3D graphics but in a fantasy world of fast cars, loose women, and violence as a solution. A dream world constructed by the overwhelmingly white, male twentysomethings of Silicon Valley. No women allowed. Minorities need not apply.

Which brings us to another reason that The Longest Journey has been shunned by these boardroom hypocrites. Language. Companies that have released profanity-laden diatribes such as Kingpin and Duke Nukem, to name but a few, have passed on The Longest Journey because one of the characters occasionally cusses--one of those seven words that George Carlin claims can't be said on television, nor, it seems, in adventure games. This is considered inappropriate for the younger crowd. And it should be. But The Longest Journey is not meant for youngsters and, correct me if I am wrong, but isn't that why we now have ratings prominently displayed on the box covers of games? In other words, it is fine to release games for children like Die by the Sword where you can use an opponent's severed limb as a weapon, it is fine to release games like Driver wherein the goal of the game is escape from the police, and it is fine to release games like Dead or Alive that offers you the option of allowing the female fighter's breasts to bounce up and down or stay firm, but let an adult character in an adult game say the word "fuck" and all hell breaks loose! The gutless suits who hide behind their facade of "parents are responsible for knowing what their children are playing" have no problem force-feeding us and our children violence and sexual innuendo--after all, it is a free country--but an adult character speaking in an adult manner will not be tolerated. Oh, and in what is an ironic twist, not one publisher has yet to notice that the only character who uses swear words is the bad guy.

Yet it is the last reason that The Longest Journey has been scorned that encouraged me to write this article and to title it "The Ugly American." For some publishers have passed on the opportunity to allow the American gaming public the freedom to play this game because it contains a character whom has sexual feelings for a member of the same sex. A lesbian to be exact. There are no sexual scenes, mind you, no Caligula-inspired adventure game orgies--just a character who happens to be a lesbian and one who happens to be a heterosexual and one who happens to be married and one who happens to be single. Just like my neighborhood, and I live in Pittsburgh.

One publisher even insinuated that the American gaming public would disapprove of a lesbian character in a game. Right. Remember the huge public outcry after the suggested lesbian characters of The Last Express, and what about those subtle hints at homosexuality in the Gabriel Knight series? After playing one of those games, I know had an urge to dress in leather and cruise Hollywood Boulevard! At least that is what one publisher suggested. That's right, a publisher who has publicly stated that violence in games does not influence violence in real life (maybe because one of their games was in the headlines as having inspired a killing) has privately hinted that lesbianism in a computer game might mutate us into a nation of flaming homosexuals who would not be able to hold a joystick in our limp-wristed hands. Adventure game, four-letter words, gay characters--three strikes and you're out.

Will we ever get to play an English version of The Longest Journey? Probably, but the producers of the game have done the correct thing by first approaching the major publishers in search of more advertising revenue and sales. Not only have their dreams of a financial windfall been dashed, but they also must feel insulted by some of the ignorant and uninformed rejections they have received. I happen to know that there are some smaller, independent companies that are more than willing to buy the distribution rights to TLJ. Though they do not realize this at the moment, the producers of The Longest Journey are probably better off with a smaller company that will give their game the loving attention it deserves instead of losing it amongst some higher powered releases. Also keep in mind that if TLJ would have been purchased by a larger company and failed, it would have been another nail in the coffin for adventure games. With a smaller publisher, if it fails no one will notice; if it is a runaway hit, it will cause waves in the industry. But when you are playing this game and wondering why a major company did not distribute it or if you have trouble finding it on your local store shelves, at least now you know the truth. I am sure that the action-biased PC Gamers and Gamespots will still review the game and declare that it "sucks" because it is not cutting-edge, because and only because it is an adventure game. But we will know better, won't we? And we can point a finger at these white, twentysomething male hypocrites that populate the gaming magazines and websites and we can tell them, "you live in your world, we'll live in ours." These people do not speak for me or for any other adventure gamer that I know, and it is about damn time that the publisher and distributors became cognizant of this fact. To the creators of The Last Journey, I apologize for the Ugly Americans who in their petty-mindedness have misshaped the fabric of American gaming into a bloody wasteland. To all you larger companies that I cannot name, my middle finger is in the air, and it is not up my nose if you get my drift.