Interviews

10 QUESTIONS FOR LEISURE SUIT LARRY & LARRY LOVAGE

Interview Conducted by Randy Sluganski

WARNING: Interview contains adult material.

After my last interview with the saucy Jack the Ripper a change of pace was certainly welcome and who better to get things zinging again than the most famous lounge lizard in the world – Larry Laffer, aka Leisure Suit Larry.

Larry has been in semi-retirement since 1996’s Love for Sail but it appears that his dinghy has been repaired and his equipment is full-mast again as he and his nephew Larry Lovage prepare to storm the world of console gaming this fall in Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude.

Both Larry’s were kind enough to divert their attention away from the bodacious booth babes at the E3 to sit down and answer some questions for our Just Adventure audience. While we’re not sure of Larry Lovage’s college major, it appears he has been studying magic for we noticed that every time a booth babe passed by, the table he was sitting at would mysteriously levitate.

WARNING: Interview contains adult material.

For Larry Laffer:

How do you feel about your nephew carrying on your (dubious) legacy?

I love it! He’s a real chip off the old block. I’ve taught him everything I know. I just hope all the advice I’ve given him over the years hasn’t fallen on deaf ears.

Have your days as a ‘wild & crazy’ ladies man come to a premature end?

My days are fine; it’s my nights that usually come to a premature end.

What is your opinion on the tattoos so many young women sport nowadays?

Butterfly on her lower back- sexy. The words “peter eater” across her stomach with an arrow pointing south- not sexy.

What is your ultimate sexual fantasy?

I’ve always had a thing for Big Bad Mama Jama.

How has Viagra changed your life?

Viagra’s a bit pricey, and I’m on a budget. Fortunately, you can pick up a tube of Mustang Stay-Hard cream at almost any adult store for only $3.99 and get the same effect if you don’t mind a little itching and burning.

For Larry Lovage:

What advice has your uncle provided to help you cope with college life?

Not much really. He’s had a few ex-wives I think. He talks a lot about being abducted by aliens. My mom gets a little weirded out when he’s over, doesn’t like him telling stories much.

Who is your dream woman?

I’m looking for a nice girl, someone who’s down to earth. Someone I can be myself with and just talk for hours and hours on end. I’m a homebody so it would have to be somebody who’s fine with just staying in and seeing what’s in the kitchen, but I like to hit the clubs too, so she’d have to be able to keep up. And she doesn’t have to look like a supermodel either- any plumper will do, as long as she doesn’t have areola that look like giant pancakes- that freaks me out.

In these days of HIV and STDs, what is your stance on protection?

ALWAYS have a condom on you, that way you’re ready to rip n’ roll come showtime. I recommend Embry-No’s. They can last for up to twelve months in your wallet before drying out.

Which of your ‘attributes’ will be most glorious in 3D?

My enthusiasm for fine Byzantine tapestry.

Who do you think will be the first to ever ‘score’ – you or your uncle?

My Uncle took me to Atlantic City for my twenty-first birthday. Let’s uh… let’s just say it was a tie.

If you enjoyed this interview with Larry Laffer and his nephew, then please be sure to read our other ‘celebrity’ interviews with Nico from Broken Sword, Syberia’s Kate Walker, & Nancy Drew.